If you hang around online discussion forums long enough, you're bound to clash with someone sooner or later. Needless to say, opinionated me has had many such encounters, so much so I can probably call myself a veteran! That is not to say that I don't get upset or stressed sometimes. I still do but I'd like to think that I am emotionally and psychologically much stronger than before, plus a little more adept at wriggling out of tight spots and protecting by butt from getting shot off.
To me, online debates are like paintball games. Very stimulating, yet very painful if you get hit! You are dealing with real people who can be very smart and unpredictable. Yet with enough experience you will be able to develop a set of strategies to handle most situations adequately.
A lot of people seem to believe that the primary objective is to win the argument at all costs. Some will try to drown you in a sea of words. Others employ highfaluting bombastic language or profanities to intimidate you. A few actually think they are victorious if they get in the last word!
The truth is you can win an argument and still lose the audience! People are not always rational. Say there is a quarrel between X and Y. X may be very logical but end up losing hearts and minds because he sounds like he is bullying Y. Get me?
In that way, a weakness can actually turn into a strength. When two or three gang up against one, people tend to support the underdog (unless the latter is promoting something absolutely ridiculous or revolting). Of course if you find yourself outnumbered in a forum full of extremists, the smartest thing is to get out!
There are many lessons one can actually learn from such experiences: about conflict resolution, about keeping cool under fire, about not taking things too seriously, about mental flexibility and dexterity, about winning friends and influencing people, about developing a reputation for honesty and integrity, about showing mercy and compassion to a weaker opponent, etc etc etc.
Below is a little altercation I was involved in recently. See what you think. (Names have been changed, of course.)
Hydrogen first mentioned liking the tv series Band of Brothers.
Me: Sorry, but to me it's more propaganda from Hollywood promoting the myth that America saved the world from Adolf Hitler.
Silver XXX: Promoting the myth? I have to say if it wasn't for the americans we'd all still be kaotaoing and saying arifuckingato! True 70%of german losses were on the eastern front but until a good russian war movie is made i'll watch the good ole yanks tearing up normandy! Anyways at the end of the day it's a good show.
Gold XXX: Thank you! I wanted to say 'if it weren't for the Americans, you'd be a panty sniffing pervert whose mother is a bukake pornstar'. But I'm too nice and I hear a lot of American bashing and get tired of it at the end of the day. Also, I might add Hollywood is as liberal as it can get, and the last thing they like to do is to promote the right wing propaganda and patriotism.
Me: Silver, I said "Adolf Hitler", not arifuckingato Japanese. Gold, I don't know you at all and you want to call me a 'panty sniffing pervert whose mother is a bukake pornstar'? Must be the American influence!
[Notice the sting at the end of my reply?]
Gold XXX: Grow some balls and take it like a man.
[At this point, how would you have reacted if you were me? Would you have gone stark raving mad and behaved accordingly? Would you have apologised for causing displeasure? Would you have cleared out of there fast to avoid the stress? Pause and have a think about it before you go on.]
Me: Nice meeting you, too.
Oxygen: As an American, I am apalled at Gold's post. I say its the British influence.
[I was laughing my head off because Gold was defending the Americans and an American came and disowned her!]
Silver XXX: Now now. Play nice people. This is bringing some nasty things to the table.Rich, if it wasn't for the Americans keeping the Atlantic trade route open, Britain would have collapsed. The fact is that even though America didn't officially enter the war until 1941, Many american ships were involved in protecting aid convoys against the german U-boat ... Read Morethreat. Please don't discount the fact that many American Serviceman died doing it as it insults their memory.Gold, please don't insult people like that as it's not nice. you don't even know the guy. In fact neither do i. I know you hear alot of american bashing but sometimes you have to let it go. Personally i think Americans are nice. From what i see the average joe is honest, friendly and like the rest of the world just wants to get on with his life. Their politicians on the other hand have been terrible since Reagan was elected. But you can't blame the majority for the minority. So there.Anyways Band of Brothers is a damn good show.
Silver XXX: And Oxygen, it is the British outspoken sarcastic side of her. Ah... my sis.
Gold XXX: Oh no nigga! I got owned!
Bronze XXX: The best WWII eastern front movie was probably that German film, Stalingrad. Realistic, but waaay too depressing. The entire Ost- Front was depressing to read about. And Silver was right, America was in the war prior to 1941 by supplying arms, ships and then aggressive anti-German patrols for the Brits. God bless the Americans of the 40's. Where are they now?
Hydrogen: All this over the Band of Brothers box set? Dang. Think I'll watch the Simpsons next. Less "political"! ...hee hee
Me: Don't get me started on the Simpsons! (Hahaha!) Nice to meet the XXX family. Happy Ramadhan to you! About movies, I'm waiting for Steven Spielberg to make one about the 10 million Native American Indians who disappeared off the face of the USA.
Silver XXX: Thanks Rich. Nice meeting u too. The XXX family like many others is as dysfunctional as they come but we all love each other....really!honest!
As you can see, it could have ended in total disaster, with me and the XXX family becoming sworn enemies. A certain amount of skill and emotional calmness is needed to turn such encounters around and gain the desired objectives - the respect and maybe grudging acceptance of the logic of your position.
One last tip to remember: Check your facts before opening your mouth! Will save you a world of hurt! :)
That's him in the photo. It's from a campaign back in Jan 2009 to promote atheism in Britain. Now a scientific theory is an explanation that best fits the data and stands until a better theory comes along. So science is all about probabilities. Which means you can't make an absolute statement like "There is no God" when you can't even begin to prove it! The word "probably" was added because organisers of the campaign "did not want to be dogmatic in the way that so many religious leaders are" (timesonline.co.uk).
